Smile... because you should!

Few days back I was sitting with my friends in the college canteen when a ‘special’ girl came by.

“Hi, Himanshi.” She said.

“Hi. How are you?” said my friend, Himanshi.

“I am very happy today”, said the girl.

“Why?” asked Himanshi.

“Because I should be!” , said the extraordinary girl with a smile as bright as the rays of the sun falling on an ice-covered land. 

I consider her unique because of two reasons. The first one is that she’s slightly atypical. Despite that, she taught us all a wonderful lesson of life and that’s my second reason for calling her ‘special’.  She was happy because she should be and didn’t need any reason to keep herself smiling.  How often do we think of our lives in such a way? We always tend to seek happiness in almost anything and everything. And if, by chance, we miss out on something, we tend to forget everything else that we already have as well. I have seen so many people (including me) getting frustrated when they don’t get their appropriate size of a pair of shoes or their desired color of a particular brand of nail paint. Out of sheer depression, these tragedy Queens and Kings of all time eventually start cursing their fate and then begins their melodrama in both

 Bollywood ishhtyle…!!

Aisa mere saath hi kyun hota hai..?? :’(

Bhagwan mujhe kis paap ki sazaa de raha hai..???

Shayad ye chappal mere naseeb me nahi… :’(

Is se toh achha hota ke main paida hi nahi hui hoti/ hua hota..!!

And the modern hollywood style…

Shit man!

Oh Crap!

F*** man!

They even start questioning the existence of God (Now this is too much!) I am sure all of us have had the experience of delivering at least one of these monologues in a similar situation (and believe me, even Rakhi Sawant doesn’t match up to our brilliant acting skills!). But not once, have we cared to think about those people who don’t even have their feet to put on shoes or those suffering from starvation or a dreadful disease like polio or leprosy that doesn’t leave any room for nail paints in their lives. The little heartbreaks that we undergo in our daily lives are nothing as compared to the catastrophic lives of such people.

Unfortunately, even I belong to the category of mournful tragedy queens.  And since I do not practise it, probably, I do not have the right to preach the same. But there’s one thing that I certainly believe in- Life is beautiful and in fact, its beauty knows no bounds. And given that, life undoubtedly deserves reverence. Each life touches many other lives in plethora of  ways and every life does make a difference. However, an affirmative association requires an optimistic approach too.

Your silence pinches, smile spreads smiles

May it be for ever, flourishing to miles…

Ever since I heard these lines ( Courtesy, Mr. Sribatsa Mishra), I haven’t been able to take them out of my mind and I guess, I never will. Even though they weren’t composed for me, I strongly feel they are meant for me and everyone else on this earth. A smile is, unquestionably, the most unadulterated use of one’s lips ;) And there’s no harm in carrying out a sanctimonious undertaking. Hence, Smile and be happy…because you should! 

Kyunki har ek "Friend" zaroori hota hai...

Few years back, while flipping various channels, I halted at Star World. It was then that I first took a glimpse of the World's most awesome show ever- F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I moved to hostel and eventually began cutting out Idiot box from my life. Whenever I came back home in my vacations, I would search for the same channel again and sit down to watch the only show which blurred the idiotic nature of TV in my mind. At that time, I had no idea what attracted me so much to that particular show. Back in February this year, I somehow managed to get all the 10 seasons of F.R.I.E.N.D.S . And once I started, nothing could stop me but my exams! I could point out a hundred reasons to love that show. But what attracted me the most was their friendship. Recently I started watching How I met your mother and I'm loving it. I keep on wondering why I have never had a group like Lilly, Marshal, Ted, Robin and Barney have? And may be, I know the answer,
Because if I were in a group, for some of us, someone like

Barney is a characterless wretch.
Robin's a selfish bitch.
Ted's so desperate to get married. What a loser!
And Lilly and Marshal are too sweet to be friends with.

Friendship is not about finding perfect friends or ridiculing them if they are not what you want them to be. It is about accepting them the way they are. They may be a wretch, a bitch or a loser but they are your FRIENDS! I have never really been a part of some group until last year. And the inference that i drew from my experiment was that Groups, sooner or later, break. Last year on Friendships' Day, I got a card with the words “For True Friends” scribbled on top of the envelope and guess what? We aren't friends anymore! Owing to all that I have been through in the past few months, I had been wondering if friendship is really as great as it is supposed to be (I even wrote a poem on that!). So basically throughout my life, I have been either alone (which was very rare, still, I brag about it!) or with one or two friends. I have never had a group like Ted's or Monica's. But I have had best friends. I was recently remarked, “You call everyone your best friend. You are supposed to have only one best friend.” After a deep thought over this remark, I ended up undercutting that statement. Yes, I do have a lot of best friends. Instead of expressing myself to a bunch of people in a “gang”, I opened up to just one or two persons in all the schools I was enrolled in and they did the same. In some cases it took years to become best friends and in others, we just hit it off. None of us, my best friends or I, is perfect. But they have accepted me the way I am and I have done the same. We talk occasionally, losing track of most of the things, but it has NEVER affected the bond that we share. I guess, that's true friendship. :) No matter where you are or what you do, friends stay. They always do. A “Friend” is a common word that should be used only for people who are uncommon to you, for the rest, “acquaintance” will do! And thus, only a friend can make the experience of friendship worthwhile, not an acquaintance.

The real purpose behind this post is not to present an analysis of friendship and friends. It is to rejoice the birth anniversary of one such friend. I truly cherish the moments we spent together and even though we are apart, (but not at heart) my love for her has increased with distance. I wrote this poem for her on her last birthday and I made this little movie this year. I hope she likes it :) 




(: Happy Birthday Alisha!! :)

I was walking quietly on my lonely way

but suddenly in the crowd I went astray.

I looked around for any familiar face

but not a single soul could give me solace.

I felt a jerk, stumbled and fell apart

people came and stepped over my heart

I tried to protect it but it was too late.

I picked up the broken pieces and cursed my fate.

I stood up and started walking again

battling with the bitter world just to sustain.

I went by a rivulet and sat over a heap

placed my head over my hands and began to weep

“Why is this world so harsh, so bitter?

I am no more a loser, I have become a quitter.

Isn't there a soul who can bring my misery to an end

Oh gimme an angel whom I can proudly call my friend.”

I burst into tears, feeling sombre.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder.

The touch was not familiar,the sensation was new

I turned around and there was you.

You took my hand and sat beside

and all the worries moved aside.

You wiped my tears and made me smile

My milieu turned to pleasant from vile

You listened to every word I spoke

and laughed even on my stupidest joke

you turned my world upside down.

To make me smile, you even became a clown

we sat together in silence for long

the moment was perfect nothing was wrong

but suddenly I saw you walking away

I closed my eyes and began to pray

“Whoever she was, she has entered my heart.

O god! I beg you, please don't keep us apart.

Bring her back and I'll never let her go

don't break my heart; please don't say no.”

Tears started rolling down my cheek

my misery was at its peak

there was not a single creature around

after a long silence, I finally heard a sound.

“She is the angel that you asked for, your friend

who shall be with you till eternity's end.

She broke all the barriers and entered your heart

and now even I can't keep you two apart.

Even if she is not around, she is not away.

Unseen and unheard, she'll walk beside you everyday.

For in your heart you have erected those walls again

you may not, but in your heart she'll always remain.”

He was gone and there was silence again

the words he uttered, didn't ease my pain.

I turned around and started to walk away

pondering over his words, closed my eyes in the middle of the way.

I wondered if what he spoke was really true

but when I opened my eyes and looked beside, I found you!

A TRIBUTE TO THE PAST- Part II

Two years back we left our home and came to this cage

and added in our life's book was yet another page.

Together we laughed, together we shed tears

here's a tribute to the blissful two years.

To the empty corridors where our laughter echoed

after every mischief where we all tip-toed.

To the walls which have supported us throughout

and made sure that our secrets never leak out.

To the first floor staircase where we became friends again

after crying like a baby and fighting like an insane.

To the window beside the water cooler where we enjoyed the soft breeze

where born were many philosophers and solved were many mysteries.

To the stairs in the reception where we sang songs and passed comments

to the mess table with plethora of publicity stunts and memorable moments.

To the empty rooms of second floor where b'days were celebrated

to FG-1 where meetings were held and strategies were created.

To the terrace above library where stealthily we sneaked

to the windows and keyhole from where we peeped.

To the narrow passage behind the tennis court which shot our imagination

To the times when we were punished in the ground floor corridor & Recreation.

To the bunkers point where romeos and juliets met

to the outstanding dance performances and the new records that were set.

And now that the journey has ended and only memories remain

I long back to back in time and live those moments again.

The faces that earlier seemed strange, are now my life's major part.

We're still a family, may be at a distance, but never at heart.

Dedicated to my co-boarders of Delhi Public School, Bhilai.

 Love you all..!!

A TRIBUTE TO THE PAST- Part I

After a long gap of two and a half years, some of us were lucky enough to relive those beautiful moments again that are lost in the whirlpool of time, during the small re-union in our school on October 9, 2010. Our laughter still echoes in the corridors, the benches at the back still whisper a mischief, the black-board still portrays the images of our teachers and the holy fumes from the havan-kund still linger in the school's atmosphere. A lot has changed in the past 2 years, still everything else remains the same. Yuvraj bhaiya still smiles on seeing us, the corridor near the toilet still stinks a lot, the back-garden still has beautiful roses, the large swing still makes a creaking noise and most importantly, we still occupy prominent places in our teachers' hearts.

I still laugh my heads out when i remember Hota Sir's dialogues, “yesterday tumko bola tha na tomorrow copy lane ke lie” and “Narayan Bidyadhar Mohapatra, GET OUT!!”, which he always said pointing towards the window instead of the door!! Tripathi Sir's patriotically mathematical emotions“Tum mujhe 80 do, main tumhe 20 dunga” and frustration “20 laat maar ke bahar dunga” still set an annoyed look on my face. Saubhagya Sir's “dhundla sa....” and “ I see a beeyuuuutiiiful lady in this chalk” still shoots my imagination. Sribatsa Mishra Sir's concern for her favorite student “Pratyasha is absent today?”(Pratyasha will kill me for this!!), Sanskrit Sir's expression when he remembers something suddenly “Ishh Ishh Ishh aa raha hai”, Sanjay Sir's words of wisdom “Don't say you have forgotten. Say you cannot recollect.”and “I know that you know but you dont know that you know”, Rao Madam's way of saying, “Ae Ranjeet”, “Ae Kishore” and “Y. navin”, S.K. Bhoi Sir's “very smart” which he usually said with a grin and Chaini Madam's “Yes boys....??” are all unique, special and unforgettable in their own way. These are just a few things that i miss about this sacred institution. But there are many more things, many more instances and many more people associated with my stay in DAV. The love and care with which our teachers have nurtured us is simply pious, unworldly and selfless. I am not sure if we will ever be able to repay them for their attention, constructive criticism, their love and care and their patience and tolerance. But there's something that I can assure you dear teachers, that no matter what we become in our lives, no matter how far we go or how busy we may be, your place in our lives, in our hearts is irreplaceable. You will always be remembered and respected from the core of our hearts.Thank you dear teachers.We love you all.

                   It's been almost three years when I stepped out of my school, my D.A.V. Life has changed so much since then. We have all been too busy in our lives to take out time for each other. Truly said, "When I was a child, my friends didn't have branded watches but they had time. Now they do have branded watches but they don't have time." Despite that, a candle of remembrance still flickers in our dark yet beautiful hearts. In fact, our heart derives its beauty from millions of those candles that are associated with zillions of wonderful memories. When I called my teachers after so many months on this teachers' day, I was glad to learn that they were all waiting for my call. :-) They often think of us like we do. Whatever I am today, I owe it to my parents and teachers. All the good habits inculcated in me are the ones taught by my parents and teachers. All the bad ones are probably the ones which they never talked about. :-)

The Bomb’s ticking away… Wake up!!

In the last 18 years of my existence, I have never felt so vulnerable and insecure about the lives of my dear ones as I do now. There were rumours about bomb plantation in the metro too. And today, when one of my dear friends, who travels in metro every working day, didn’t show up in college, all the thoughts that came into my mind were immensely  negative. The evil souls have succeeded in furnishing terror in my mind and perhaps, I am not the only one. 

Since the 2001 terrorist attack on the USA, the American goverenment has been  proficient enough to avoid any other major attack in the country. The Indian Government and few others, on the other hand,  are amused by seeing the game of ‘numbers’ than being apalled by deaths and taking serious measure to curb the same. It’s a shame that glitches in the security system  have not ceased to exist yet. Living in a high-tech world, security personnels coninue to use their hands for security checks as if they were born with the ability to detect metals etc. with the same. Is the Indian Government so poor (or so corrupt) that it cannot afford a proper security system and enough CCTVs?

  A child is supposed to feel the safest inside the walls of his home but  we are at the height of vulnerability in our own nation. For our honorable government, Kasab’s life (and their own lives) is obviously  dearer than a common man’s. Why on earth is Kasab still taking breaths? It takes seconds to hang a person to death but may be our government is too ‘serious’ to take this seriously. Over the years, if the terrorists have become smarter, we have become dumber with each day. As a matter of fact, no one wishes to live in a country free of poverty, corruption, unemployment etc. as much as one wants to live! In order to witness the changes brought by various policies, say the Lokpal Bill, we first need to remain alive and the government needs to make sure that we do. 

Our lives are not secluded, there are many more lives associated with ours. A father dies with his son’s death, life stops existing for a woman who lost her husband in a bomb blast and a little girl’s world gets confined to blood and flesh that can never be washed away from her mind. Everyone has to die but no one deserves to be smashed to smithereens in a bomb blast and die. We have had enough candle light marches at the India Gate for the deceased and more than enough sympathies. What still remains inadequate is seriousness. I remember a joke that some kids in my class used to crack few years back- “If you are serious, go to a hospital..!!” Well, the scenario now is, “If you aren’t serious now, you shall die on the spot, forget the hospital..!!” The bomb is ticking away and it’s time to wake up!

MY QUEST

This poem was written in the early summers of 2010 in the interim of my IIT-JEE preparations. During that period, I was mostly on a quest to discover myself than the values of x, y, z, Relative Velocity, Resistance etc. This piece of writing reflects the thesis of my discovery... :-)

For people are known by their deeds

I've promised myself

to remain responsible for every step I undertake

every time I succeed and every time I fail.

For nothing happens for no reason

I've promised myself

to discover the truth that remains hidden behind

not to seek but find.

For I was born with an instinct to rebel

I've promised myself

to fight always for what is right

safeguarding my rights, reach to a height.

For life's not a bed of roses

I've promised myself

to beautify a few lives with my presence

and spread in their lives, the hues of love and fragrance.

For I cannot keep the entire world happy

I've promised myself

to bring a smile on the few faces around me

and remain happy for the dear ones who surround me.

For I cannot change the world

I've promised myself

to make my world a better place to live in

and get atleast something out of nothing.

for I cannot know everyone

I've decided

to know myself in the best possible way

what I really want and what keeps me gay.

For I just cant remain committed to others

I've promised myself

to fulfill every promise I've made to myself

and work towards my goal, with a control over my inner self.

But even I am a human

even i hurt others, break their heart.

I'm not perfect; I've got no art

even I back off from what I say

I'm no special; for all my sins I'll pay one day.

I am not always right,even I commit mistakes

I am not so strong, even my heart breaks.

I am not an angel, I am not God

I cannot pretend to be someone that I am not.

But I am happy, I'm contended

not for what I have achieved but for what I have

and I do love myself

not for what I have done but for who I am.

I had never thought...

I wrote this poem about two years back while I was counting my last days in school. From being a poem based on Friendship, it went on to become a love poem (followed by break-up, as you will shortly see) with the addition of some more stanzas.

I had never thought...

I had never thought

we'll meet each other.

But after we did,

I realized that we were made for each other.

I had never thought

I'd talk to you.

But after we talked,

I didn't want us to fall silent.

I had never thought

I could trust you.

But after I did,

I wanted to share my deepest of secrets with you.

I had never thought

you would care.

And when you did,

I found myself closer to you.

I had never thought

you would understand.

But when you did,

I found that you knew me the best.

I had never thought

we'd be friends.

And now that we are,

I promise to remain your friend forever.

I had never thought

your smile would make my day.

And once you smiled

nothing seemed impossible.

I had never thought

you'd be so special.

And now that you are,

you hold a very special place in my heart.

I had never thought

I'd love you

and now that I do,

I shall continue to do so till my last breath.

I had never thought

I could see my face in your eyes.

And when I saw,

I found a way to heaven.

I had never thought

we'd be so close

and now that we are,

the very thought of separation hurts.

I had never thought

you would leave me.

And now that you're gone

every single piece of my broken heart yearns for you.

I had never thought

I'd ever miss you.

But now that you are away,

I miss you each and every day.

I had never thought

life would be so difficult without you

and now that it is,

I hope it ends soon.

She...

I know this is kinda silly but I couldn't help writing this poem. I am totally in love with Miss Namrata (Faculty, English). Also, this is an attempt by a girl to praise another girl (which is quite impossible) so I guess I could not come up with the right words and apt expressions. Moreover, I sound like an idiot  (which is true) and homosexual lover (which is not).  So, Here it is.. Laugh all you want...but i love this woman..!!

Well, this is for you ma'am..(I hope you never read this!)

She…

She walks into the dark alcove

And enlightens it with her charm.

Everything about her, I love

Her beauty’s an endless farm.

The kohl in her eyes shine so bright

I could stare at them all day and night.

The diamonds in her lobes are like the countless stars.

Her profound words like an untamed brook flow.

Her touch so warm can cure a million scars

Her captivating beauty makes my mind blow.

She’s one in a zillion, may she smile and spread smiles forever

May any impending hellion, fall apart and mow her down never.

As strong as you were, tender you go...

I was just listening to this song , "Carry you home" by James Blunt. While I was lost in the lyrics of this song, the first thing that came into my mind was death ; a death owing to cancer, to be precise. I had been sitting quietly, staring at my laptop for practically no reason (all the windows were minimized and I realized this a little later) when I became conscious of my tearful eyes. There was something so appealing about this beautiful yet sad song that before I could realize even this bare truth, I had its video playing in front of me ( as if my fingers magically ran over the keyboard. Okay, I am exaggerating now!)  It turned out to be a little different from what I had expected ( Indian cinemas have ruined my imagination!). The video was indeed associated with death but it portrayed a soldier's death and not a young damsel dying of a terrible disease.

I remember, when I was a kid, I used to have these creepy dreams about snakes and deaths. I had dreams about my mom's death, snakes taking her away etc. which literally scared the hell out of me. The very thought still takes life out of me. I also had dreams about my own death (and I still do) but that doesn't bother me at all. I know that the cycle of life has to continue and blah blah blah but lets face it. Who doesn't freak out at such a point of time? For some, it's the end of their lives and for some others it is as obvious as the other side of a coin. But whatever may be the case, it's always grievous to hear about anyone's demise, your newspaper vendor, your maid's child, the peon in your school, the clerk in your office, the poor rikshaw puller who once stood on the other side of the road, the teacher you once hated, the classmate you once fought with or some random person's father. You may not know the name of the soul that now rests in peace, you may have loathed somebody from the day you met him or called him names behind his back but as soon as you hear the news of his death, all the hard feelings vanish wondrously and you suddenly remember a few good things about him which should have come to your mind in the interim of his existence. Unfortunately, he's not present anymore to hear you. He has flown away without having the slightest idea that you could ever think about him in this manner. If you were thoughtful enough, he would have left this world with one enemy less.

Death is sudden, agonizing and irreversible but that's the climax, picture abhi baaki hai mere dost. Leave all the melodramas and tragedies for the end and live your life in a way that rules out the existence of any kind of regret by the time you reach it's end. Hatred may make you strong but love makes you way stronger and most importantly, peaceful. Your life becomes worth when someone desperately wishes to add breaths to your life when you are running out of them and not the other  way round. I am sure you wouldn't like to learn that someone somewhere wishes every breath of yours to be your last one! As strong as you were, tender you go when you or somebody else is at the Exit. The million dollar question is, Why wait to reach the exit when the road, leading to the same, is long and there are so many on the way to get along?

Getting to know my Doppelganger

The only bona fide element associated with any myth is that it is astonishingly amusing. The myth about the Doppelgangers is one such enchanting tale. It traces back its origin to the German soil. "Evil twin", "double walker", "ghostly double" etc. are the accepted connotations of this term. An encounter with one's  doppelganger was believed to be a bad omen for both, the person concerned and the doppelganger. There exist several instances to prove this, the famous ones being from the lives of Licoln, P.B. Shelly and Guy De Maupassant.
   
I first came across this word in one of the series of Vampire Diaries. Elena, the lead actress, has an evil twin called Katherine and the show perfectly justifies the myth. However, in the current scenario, the term "doppelganger" means simply a "twin" (not necessarily an evil one). I came through this term over and over again in another famous series called How I Met Your Mother. Here, the lead characters run into their doppelgangers and the chance meeting, instead of bringing a bad luck or death for them, proves to be delighting. As a matter of fact, they are always on a hunt for their doppelgangers. On the contrary, one of the articles on this topic suggested to "run for your life" if you meet your doppelganger.

 Interestingly, there was a very thought provoking one liner by Ted Mosby in the very same show-"EVENTUALLY, OVER TIME, WE BECOME OUR OWN DOPPELGANGERS." Any of these stories may not be true, any of these myths may fail to validate themselves, but what Ted said is and will always be authentic in all respects. We all  tend to evolve throughout our lives and in the process, become our own doppelgangers that are absolutely harmless to us.  When I think about myself five years ago, I get a picture of a little different person from me. The opinions that I held back then, the principles that I followed, the goals that I had in my mind, and the way I wanted to see myself five years from then seem so bizarre now. And five years from now, probably, I shall become a completely different person that may just happen to look like me (or may not, if i loose weight!) Whatever may be the case, I would never be afraid to acknowledge myself as a different person.

I am a doppelganger of my own self and my doppelganger would again be me(say, five years from now). The way I have led my life since last 5 years has made me what I am today and the manner in which I lead my life for the coming, say, five years will decide my doppelganger's traits. Even in my dreams, if i get to meet the old Somya, I would not run away for my life ( I can never be a bad omen for myself). I would rather look her in the eyes and smile. And I am sure, she'll smile at me too, despite of the fact that I am not what she wanted me to be but I am someone else that she might be proud of too.